Monday, December 12, 2011

In which I objectify men... or just Ryan Gosling

For those of you who follow me on twitter (I won’t apologize for random dating advice – which I have no reason to give, seeing as I’m married and the dating game has probably change). Any who, you know I started this thing called #chicklitchat. If you didn’t notice, I suspect your still nodding your head to avoid looking like the one and only idiot in the back of the class (only to later google #chicklitchat to see what you missed).

What do we talk about?

Men. Ridiculously hot sexy, men. Sorry Erik… Alex… Matt… (and any other male that stops in whom I’ve failed to mention). Then again, who says we’re not actually ogling over them and just using code names (that’s right, you’ll never know).

This post is not about my twitterites or my blog buds, this is about…

Ryan Gosling and his all too perfect pectoral muscles. It’s not right. I need to put an end to this madness. My poor husband. My poor male readers (Erik…Alex…Matt…Other men).



Stop looking at me like that... *blushes*... stop it.

I figured in the form of a letter was most appropriate.

Ryan,

Crazy.Stupid.Love has turned into a Crazy.Stupid.Infatuation. Emma Stone wasn’t joking in reference to your photo shopped six pack. I don’t believe it. I can’t believe that someone so freaking hot isn’t in my presence right this very minute. Haven’t you ever heard of the Make A Wish Foundation? Yeah, well, I’m not on it… but if I could be, your name would be at the top of my list.

You think of no one else do you?

We watch you saunter in the bar with your ridiculously high priced clothing and all you do is taunt us with your sweet and over confident attitude. Not cool, Ryan. Not cool. And what’s with your ability to make us forget everything we were talking about the minute your face appears on the big screen. We’re woman. We have thoughts, feelings, and emotions. *stares at Ryan Gosling’s body… his lips move but my eyes are still on that glistening six pack*

Wait a minute? How the hell did you manage to break a sweat in the twenty seconds it took you to get undressed? Don’t tell me you use a spray bottle to keep those core muscles appearing tighter than they really are.

That’s disrespectful.

And hot.

Keep up the good work.

~Jen

38 comments:

Vicki Rocho said...

Hahahaha. That was a great movie.

DL Hammons said...

He was so dorky in REMEMBER THE TITANS! Great actor though! :)

E Louise Bates said...

I sometimes think I'm the only woman on the planet who doesn't get the whole Ryan Gosling attraction thing. Honestly? He kinda looks like an agreeable ferret to me.

*runs and hides*

salarsenッ said...

Ryan? Apparently, something is wrong with me. I just don't get him. *no cyber slapping visitors* :)

DRC said...

How funny. A while back a posted about my DreamTeam (in other words, if your story was picked up and made into a Hollywood blockbuster, and you had the choice in choosing the cast, who would they be?) The choice for my main character was Jake Gyllenhaal (yeah, I'm a Gyllenholic) but my choice for the second in line and main character's best friend was Ryan Gosling. He fits the part perfectly...lol...

Tracie Banister said...

Jen, I can't believe you just fell under Ryan's spell in Crazy Stupid Love. My Ryan crush goes all the way back to The Notebook, one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME thanks to his wonderful, swoon-inducing performance. SIGH Happy to have you aboard the Ryan Love Train.

Creepy Query Girl said...

LOL, yeah, he was totally hot in that movie. I remember when he was just this goofy kid on that canadian show about the kids going to highschool on a cruise ship. My my how things change (although, the notebook is really the movie that did me in when it comes to Ryan)

Melissa Ann Goodwin said...

Oh yeah, I'm totally with you on this. I think maybe you had to see him in The Notebook first to really get it ...but he's hot because A) He's HOT and B) He's Intelligent. and oh yeah, C) He's hot.

April Plummer said...

I'd have to agree. Ryan Gosling is hot. How does your hubby feel about your crush? LOL. I loved that letter and agree with it 100%.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Apology accepted. And remind me to post about Kate Beckinsale again soon...

K. Turley (Clutzattack) said...

I'm going to ditto the no cyber-slapping the visitors comment.

He's not what I'd call an Adonis.

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

i'm always telling my hubs i think he looks like him. he doesn't see it. come to think of it, neither does my mom. or my sister. or his mom. or our kids...
c'mon peoples! it's the eyes!
look at the eyes!
*grumbles*

Spangle said...

I don't recall ever seeing Ryan Gosling in anything before but from now on, I'll definitely take some notice!

Sarah Pearson said...

He's all yours Jen, I don't really do blondes :-)

Nicole Zoltack said...

I haven't seen that movie yet. I really should fix that.

Amie McCracken said...

Mmm.

p.s. the photoshop comment in that movie is the best line ever.

E.R. King said...

Bawahahaha! Love this! I should write a love letter to Christian Bale. Now there's a man I'd like to... (edited for younger viewers). : )

Stephanie said...

YUM YUM YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loved that movie!

Stephanie said...

Oh and yeah...The Notebook..... droolworthy....

Christina Lee said...

I'm not a fan, but GEEZ, maybe now I am! I'm blushing (for Erik…Alex…Matt…Other men too).

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I absolutely loved his character in Remember the Titans!! :-)

Lindsay N. Currie said...

LOL this was exactly what I needed to see this morning! So funny Jen.

Johanna Garth said...

Oh Jen, I'm not a Ryan Gosling fan. He's a little too sleek or something. Weird, right!

Angela Brown said...

I can now say that I have had an appropriate amount of Gosling-afication.

He's just sitting there in that picture with a devil-may-care nonchalance that's just so...

Okay, Jen. I get your point. It really isn't fair.

Jolene Perry said...

I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.

Also.

Good thing you had a pic in this post!! lol

Joy D. Fanning said...

I saw that movie twice in theaters. He's one of those guys I just can't think about. Colin Farrell...I can't think of him either. Feel free to make a post about him if you'd like. I'd read it and oggle the screen.

Janet Johnson said...

Jen, you are too funny. :)

Melanie Stanford said...

I met Ryan Gosling back when he'd just finished filming Remember the Titans. He was really sweet and down-to-earth. Makes you kinda mad huh, that he's nice AND hot.

Natalie said...

Hmmm...Is it reaaaaaly screwed up that my Gosling love was ignited by Drive?
Shhh. Don't tell.

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Loved him in The Notebook, loved him even more in CSL.

I tried to actually read your post, but all I retained was "blahdy blah blah blahdy blah RYAN, blahdy blah, SO HOT, blahdy blah." ;)

Amy said...

I'm not a huge fan either :( But your humor in this post rocks!
Come join #chicklitchat everyone!

Amanda Nicole said...

I love love loved this post and I adore Ryan Gosling. He was gorgeous in Crazy, Stupid, Love. Drop dead freaking gorgeous!!! :D

Joseph Eastwood said...

Oh gosh...he's hot! Although I hated that I had to wait nearly all of the film just to see those abs of his! It was worth it though xD

I'm probably the only guy who didn't mind you posting this lol

Jennifer Hillier said...

I love Ryan Gosling. For so many reasons. I don't get goo goo often, but I just think he's the total package.

LTM said...

Ahh... omg, I LOVED that movie. But see, I loved the whole thing. You're much younger than me, so it's right that you feel this way. To me, Ryan Gosling, Justin Timberlake, etc. They're just little boys. It's creepy to be all oogling them for me.

I'll just sit over here with Antonio Banderas while you guys have fun... LOL! :D <3

Carolyn V said...

lol! Just saw that movie last week. It was awesome. ;)

alexia said...

My husband is looking at me and wondering why the hell I'm smiling so big while blogging... hehe. Ryan is totally hot. And all random and cute and stuff. Haven't seen that movie yet though!!

Sarahbotbonkers said...

I was laughing the whole time I was reading this post. Pure awesomeness. Ryan Gosling is just dreamy.

Sarah @ Smitten over Books