Monday, August 30, 2010

Fairy Tale Blogfest

FAIRYTALE BLOGFEST!!! This is a long post... but for a purpose and I really, really want you to read it!!! Emily had a super awesome idea over at Stepping into Fantasy. You were suppose to re-tell the story of a loveable fairy tale and make it a different genre. I think I did well. Check out the other entries (AFTER YOU READ MINE)

The REAL story of Beauty and the Beast.

Word Count: 960 words (Woohoo under 1,000)

START

All I’d wanted was a rose. We weren’t rich, but he still asked us what we wanted when he returned from his journey, I chose something we could afford, my sisters were the ones who wanted the jewelry and fine dresses, and now I’m being punished. The rose doesn't seem worth it anymore. With each gust of wind tree branches tap against the window. The scraping against the glass could be anything and I try to reassure myself that I’m alone in this room, but it’s dark and my nerves are shot.

It was my father’s plan, well more of a settling of the grounds between him and the beast, and I agreed to visit because I knew this agreement would benefit our family. At first everything had been nice, he’d bought me diamonds, gorgeous gowns and gave me my own room which was practically the size of our cottage. But then it all stopped because I’d asked to go home and see my family. Affection wasn’t his strong suit and he spent little time with me. I was desperate to give my father a hug, and ached for any type of human interaction. I had seen his anger and irritability but he had never been violent towards me. The day we fought I’d never seen the Beast so angry. His last words to me were, “You’ll never return.”


I should have left when I had the chance. I didn't always want to leave, however in the last few weeks things changed and he kept getting angrier by the day. He never slept and on occasion would venture away from the castle. When I tried to run he caught me and drug me to the corner tower where he chained me to the brick wall. He gave me such a look of anger it caused the hair's on my neck to electrify. Slapping me on the face, he said something underneath his breath before walking out and slamming the door. I jerked at the chains wanting to cool the sting on my cheek.

A small window allowed a sliver of light to fill an otherwise empty room, when the footsteps came the echo bounced off the once quiet walls. My hands are freezing but I’m unable to warm them. My legs tremble beneath my tattered dress. The last time I ate was two days ago and if he ever comes for me, or unlocks these chains, I don’t think I'll have the strength to escape.

There was a pause in the relentless wind and I heard a shuffling in the room but it was too dark to see.

“Hello?” I said. “Hello, is anyone there?” I tried to inch my body as far as I could for a better view but still saw nothing.

“Belle?” a shaky voice emerged from the darkness. “Belle is that you?”

One of my sisters called out, and heart break came over me. I didn’t understand why this happened. Why were we all being punished, none of us had done anything wrong. Was he really lonely and unhappy?

“Are you okay? Are you all here?” I cried out.

“Me and Melissa are here, he-” she whimpered, “he killed dad.” My heart sank deeper into my chest.

“What? How did this happen?” I wanted to see her. “It’s going to be okay, we’ll get out of here.” None of this was okay but still I wanted to comfort my sisters.

"We were so worried about you," Kat said. "We were on our way to find you when the Beast came. He was so angry. He said you wanted to come home but that wasn't part of the deal and he caught you trying to escape." Kat said with panic, "He brought an axe with him and-," she cried before she could finish.

“Kat I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say; from her voice I knew I didn’t want the details. I was helpless. He had destroyed my father and we’d soon be next. “How is Melissa?” I hadn’t even heard a whimper out of her.

“She's barely breathing, Belle, she isn't well. He stabbed her after she leapt to save dad. I stayed back like a coward.” I could hear her wheeping. I wanted to make it better I wanted to take the pain away but I knew I couldn’t. I was bound against a force larger than my own.

Before I could say anything to comfort them the door flung open. He’d returned and by the look on his face he’d brought vengeance with him. He ripped the chains off as if they were just taped to the wall then dragged me across the floor.

“No!” I screamed “Kat!” I heard Kat shriek watching her shadow turn towards me, I caught a glimpse of Melissa lying motionless on the floor. I should be scared but my only concern is how to save my family. “Please don’t hurt them!” I screamed.

I didn’t look away, if this was the last moment I wanted to look at them until I was forced not to. There had to be away to help us all. His grip tightened around my waist; I kicked as hard as I could, trying to knock him off balance. Nothing phased him. Thrasing my body trying to escape from his hold, if I could break my hands away, I could claw my way to freedom. “Please don’t hurt them.” I roared.

It was then I knew I would die. He was done with me. I refused to love him and there was no way he would allow me to love anyone else. He threw me to the ground and that is where I saw the rose. The whole reason this started.

THE END

If she likes it (which I hope she does) she will put it on her blog for voting to win the grand prize... if that's the case, you BeT your TuShY I'll be asking for your help!!! I hope you enjoyed the story! Now go visit the other entries!!!

60 comments:

Cristina said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

xxx

Vicki Rocho said...

Poor Belle!!! (sniffle) Great job!

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohh I love this story....Ohhh poor..poor...Belle.
Hope you had a wonderful weekned,sweetie
Can you believe that its the last Monday of August?
hugs

Renae said...

I agree poor Belle, but what a wonderful story! Great job!
Have a good Monday!

JC Martin @ Fighter Writer said...

Great entry from Belle's PoV! Absolutely gripping!

aspiring_x said...

i always though the beast needed anger management classes... but i guess he's beyond that now... nice one jen!

Talli Roland said...

Oh, Belle...

Oh. OH!

I loved it, Jen! What a great retelling!

Candyland said...

Awww:( Fantastic post J.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Definitely not the disney version. ;)

Love how this was different to the usual retellings. Good luck with it, Jen. :D

Hannah Kincade said...

Awww, sad. I love that you began and ended with the rose.

Michelle said...

Awesome!!! Poor Belle :(

Elena Solodow said...

Um, where's the singing tea kettle and candelabra?

Bish Denham said...

Alas poor Belle, we knew her well....

Summer Ross said...

I was completely sucked in...great fairy tale twist!

Clara said...

This one kicked AAASSSS!!! What an awful Beast, I'll kill this motherfucker!

Brenda Drake said...

Okay, this is so much better than the original. Because like really, who would fall in love with a beast? Thanks for the cliff hanger--I totally want to see Belle get out of this but fear she won't. Loved how you started with the rose and ended it with the rose. Totally could be a bad episode of the Bachelor too! LOL Loved it! :D

Amie B said...

what a tragic ending! but those are so much better than happy endings, aren't they?

i hope your story gets chosen! i'm rooting for you!

beth said...

This was great!

stu said...

An interesting variation on the theme.

Teenage Bride said...

Jen! You never cease to amaze me, you write with such passion and heart. I felt as though I was with her in the dark cold tower. I could feel their terror.

You have extreme talent.

What an awesoem idea, I have seen people re write fairy tales but never in a different genre, really really cool!

Kate Haggard said...

"He’d returned and by the look on his face he’d brought vengeance with him."

That line, more than the others, jumped out. Fabulous and very, very well done overall.

Falen (Sarah) said...

ooh beauty and the beast. Nice choice. Nicely dark

Angie said...

Ah, poor poor Belle. I love re-telling of fairy tales. Have you read the real story of the three little pigs? It's a kid's picture book. Hilarious! Good luck on the contest. :)

Kimberly Franklin said...

Oh, poor, poor Belle. Such a great re-telling here. Good luck!! :)

Carolyn V. said...

I knew it! Way to go Jen. This was awesome. =)

Charity Bradford said...

Hmm, trying to comment again.

Loved the twist, felt the emotions were more realistic.

Great job! My first comment was longer.

Rose Cooper said...

Great job! I was really sucked it by this! I hope yours makes it into the finals. I love the unhappy ending because it's something we just weren't expecting.

AchingHope said...

Ooh, I want to know more about the rose. I feel like there's more to the story there.

But...

Aw, sadness :( Poor Belle.

Nicole Murray said...

And in the real world, being held by a angry beast would more than likely end like this...and not the happy ending.

Heartbreaking turn of events but very good.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

An excellent, if tragic, re-telling of the fairy tale. Sometimes we get what we ask for but not what we want in life ... even in a fairy tale world.

Great and evocative job. Roland

Jemi Fraser said...

Great job Jen - that was a fun read :)

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Oooh, brutal ending! You didn't pull any punches with this one. Wonderful work!

Blackrose said...

Thanks jen for all your help today hope that you like the changes. Love the story by the way! Poor Belle.

DL Hammons said...

This fairy tale was definitely GRIMM! :) Excellent re-telling!

Amy Saia said...

Very nice. I love how you rewrote this, keeping the sisters around and also making it more of a thriller than a romance. Good luck with the entry!

Rebecca T. said...

Crazy. Now that beast I wouldn't want to go anywhere near! All for a rose :( Beautifully told.

Francine said...

Hi,

Ha ha, much better fairy tale than the original. Sooo gritty, enough to scare kiddywinks to stay in bed and never get out to ask for another glass of water!

best
F

LTM said...

a far more believeable ending than the original! ;p

I love it! And so scary... nice work, Jen~

Okie said...

Nice story. Creepy, engaging, fun. :)

Slushpile Slut said...

Nice work!! Way better and grittier than Disney's Beauty & The Beast...If you write further on this please make sure that Belle kicks his ass ;p

Emily White said...

Update: I'm posting finalists tomorrow. Not Wednesday. See you there! :D

Theresa Milstein said...

What a beast!

I really enjoyed this, Jen. The first paragraph was lovely, and your take on the fairy tale had a nice twist.
I hope you win!

Sondrae Bennett said...

Good Luck, Jen! I really liked your story and what a fun idea!

Brad Jaeger said...

I dug it! I'm also now stalking your twitter, just because.

Mesmerix said...

Was great to see a Beauty & The Beast entry. Twist was great, very fun.

Scribbler to Scribe

Elana Johnson said...

Wow - way to go on this. :)

Amanda Sablan said...

So dramatic! This is definitely my kind of fairy tale. ;]

I especially liked this: "I was bound against a force larger than my own."

Damyanti said...

Creepy story, and great climax...lovely story, Jen.

Kelly Dexter said...

Beauty and the Beast is my favorite fairy tale! Love the darkness, what a great job!

N. R. Williams said...

Ditto what every one else said. Great, poor, dark, and more. I would like to add, if it continues maybe they'll end up on the Dr. Phil show. 'How to handle the beast in your man.'
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

OMGoodness...That was great, in an awful way.

A friend of mine just sold one of these types of stories as a pb manuscript....

Nice job!

Jai Joshi said...

Jen, I love this! It's so real and scary. You gave me chills with how he turned into a crazed psychopath.

Jai

Ishta Mercurio said...

Oh, poor Belle. Most definitely different from the original. Nice circularity with the rose at the beginning and the end.

Donna Hole said...

What's not to love? I'm sure you'll be in the top five.

this was awesome.

.........dhole

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

That's pretty cool. If it goes up I'll be sure to vote for ya ;o)

Meredith said...

Oh my goodness, this is amazing! Beauty and the Beast is my fave fairy tale, but you've made it so horrifying--in the best possible sense :) I love that she sees the rose at the end. Awesome job!

Talei said...

Oh Jen, this is great, love your version of the fairytale!! ;))

Terry Stonecrop said...

Love this variation, scary!

Kittie Howard said...

Wow, what a great variation. You had me hooked from Word One. And loved the circularity with the rose at the beginning and the end.

Amy Holder said...

Great job! You're very talented! :)