Wednesday, April 27, 2011

W is for Whining is for sissies, sort of

So yesterday I may have talked about positive and negative vibes but we never touched on the whining aspect.

Life is full of choices and sometimes you make the wrong one and it’s too late to change it. Do you let it bother you or let it go?

Answer: You should let it go.

However that’s much easier said than done. When you’re fighting with family it’s hard to let it go, you take it personally. When you send out your query without the requested 5 pages and you KNOW they’ll delete because they said so but you’re unsure if you should re-send… yeah that’s hard to let go of.

So you whine.

I’m guilty. I want to stomp my feet and pull my dress up over my head to hide from my humiliation (yes I’m pretending I’m young enough to get away with that). I want to make everyone listen to how awful my life is and have them console me and tell me that in a week it won’t matter.

Here is the difference. I don’t let the WHOLE WORLD KNOW. You don’t want to come off as some whiny baby or people will think you’re a sissy and frankly annoying.
It’s okay to vent, talk it out, and whine a little but after you’re done you need to get over it. Don’t dwell on the bad, just whine a little.

Do you whine on your blog or just vent to your friends?

46 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

The only time I whine is when I know it's something other writers are sure to experience. That why they will have something to say instead of, 'Oh poor you.' Also, I think it's fine to vent now and again. It's human nature. It becomes a problem when that is ALL you do.

Cheree said...

Everyone's entitled to a little whining every now and then, but you've got to think about who is going to be listening. I'm very careful with what I post about. My family gets sick and tired of me whining about my job or uni, but I leave it just there. When I post online I don't really want the entire world to know what's happening at home.

D U Okonkwo said...

I think a good whine is allowed every now and then. Hey, if you're in publishing it's allowed - things can take AGES in this industry...

Yeah, a whine is therapeutic.

J. L. Jackson said...

I vent to friends, but I don't usually have too much to vent about.

upinthecosmos said...

So true, no one likes a whiner! Sure vent & let it out but then accept your part and move on to make it better, change it or just let it go. I try to do that daily, it's not always easy that's for sure! Stop in & read W is for Waffler

Susan Fields said...

I try to whine just to friends. Luckily I have some good friends with big ears. :)

Michael Di Gesu said...

The only whine I allow myself is in a glass.... LOL.

I don't believe in whining on blogs. Personally to a blogging buddy is fine. We all do that in email. In my opinion blogs should be helpful, positive, and supportive.

We all go through rough times ... especially when querying. It does get to you. So I whine a bit to friends and close blogging buddies....

You can tell you blogging family about something bad happening, but you don't necessarily have to whine about it.

I grew up with the whiner and the last thing I want to be known as is a pain in the arse whiner.

HAVE A GREAT DAY JEN.... I'm leaving for Orlando soon... ANY message for Harry?

Michael

lynnrush said...

I find my closest friends and chat with them. I find that helps the best. Helps me get over whatever's bringing me down much faster!

Catherine Denton said...

If something's really got me down, I sometimes address it on my blog. But I don't like to stay there. Partly because I just wanna move on.
My Blog

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I definitely just whine to my friends and family. Fortunately my kids and husband don't listen so I can vent and not worry about them telling me I'm wrong. :D

Vanilla Mama said...

I enjoy a little cheese with my whine:) I try to keep it out of my writing and my blog - that's what friends and alone time are for!

Jaydee Morgan said...

I tend to keep it away from my blog - that's what good friends or family is for.

Em-Musing said...

I do whine on my blog, Em-Musing... but hopefully,because I do it intentionally with humor,I don't come off sound like a ranting "b". And if I do, I'm going to pull my dress over my head.

San said...

I whined on Monday on the blog. Not the norm for me but there it was. Afterwards, I pulled my dress back down and got over it.

Thanks for another uplifting post, Jen. You are a positive part of my day and YAY! We could all use more of that :)

Cheers to the day and NO Whining!!!

Lindsay said...

I don't whine much. If I do, I mainly to my friends and family. But silly stuff, like migraines, I whine about on my blog sometimes -- especially if they're the reason I can't post. lol.

Donna Weaver said...

I used to chide my children for whining -- until I realized I was whining about their whining. =D

Summer Ross said...

Great post Jen! I don't whine on my blog often, if I do its very short and done with in a few seconds of reading. I do vent to my friends- specially if things are really getting to me, but it doesn't last long- my friends call me an "ever optimist" lol

Talli Roland said...

I try to keep my blog as upbeat as I can. I'm a firm believer that people don't want to read about negativity -- and as an author, no-one wants to hear 'poor me, waaah'. I do whine quite a bit to Mr TR. Poor guy!

Rhonda@laugh-quotes said...

I whine, but only if I am laughing at myself and I can keep it light and entertaining. So, maybe that's not really whining.

Mary Aalgaard said...

It's been a while since I've done any whine blogging. Mostly, I fuss to my friends.

Lynn said...

I thunk a bit of stompin' is just fine as long as no one lives below you. Gets you up and exercising from your writing chair at least!

Stephen Tremp said...

Never. It doesn't do any good and nobody listens. Happy happy, jopy joy.

Katie Mills said...

Oh, I totally whine on my blog because I can't whine to my friends or my family. They don't wanna hear it and they don't understand. So when it gets so rough I start wondering what the hell I'm doing here, you guys are the first to know. And the first to help me put things into perspective. Maybe I should stop whining so as not to mess with the positive vibes BUT at the same time I swore that I'd be honest about how hard this is on my blog. I am creepy query girl afterall. People have a right to know that its not all flowers of hope and rainbows of 'I can do it!'. If they get unsettled by reading about how disgruntled and frusterating querying can get...they probably aren't ready to go through it themselves.

Carolyn V said...

I think I've whined a little on my blog, but I try not to make it a habit. Plus it brings me down when I do it.

Laura Marcella said...

I vent to my husband. He knowingly and willingly took vows to put up with my whining, LOL! We've known each other since we were little kids so he knew exactly what he was getting himself into, heehee. ;)

Ann said...

I don't whine over much...well at least I don't think I do. I feel much reassured when I read another writer expressing some angst with their writing especially when I identify with it. It makes me shake off my gloom and move on, because I am not alone.

Matthew MacNish said...

Whining and complaining are both wastes of breath IMHO.

Bish Denham said...

I really only whine to my hubby. On my blog I whine about plastic.

Marjorie said...

I whine at home and try not to whine on the internet. Sometimes venting is a must. So I just get vague and general in my rantings.

Shelli said...

I only whine to my husband. He reciprocates. I have, however, been known to rant. Entirely different concept.

Candyland said...

Holla! I try to keep my whining to real life only!

Teenage Bride said...

Sometimes whining is needed, but I find that the more positive I am on the outside, the better I feel on the inside

Lauracea said...

I had a good old rant yesterday with a friend (poor friend). Nothing wrong with that - I felt much better afterwards, although I can't vouch for my friend. The only problem with whining is that awful high-pitched voice it takes on. Avoid that. LOL

Jennifer Hillier said...

I whine in private. Occasionally I'll blog about something that annoys me, but I try to do it in a humorous way, because I don't want to inadvertently rain on somebody else's happy day. So I totally agree with you - there's no reason to let the whole world know!

Marsha Sigman said...

I do not WHINE. Ever.

However, I do bitch at times in a very mature manner, in private.

There may be foot stomping involved. I'm just sayin'.

Myne Whitman said...

I rarely whine on my blog, but my readers are friends of a sort too so sometimes it leaks out.

Christina Lee said...

Not very much, but I get it! Except it can get old if its too much--so i keep it private (or in emails to you--ha) ;-)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I have made every effort NOT to ever complain on my blog.

Sarah said...

Never a good idea to whine publicly. People who know you can put it in context (they know you don't whine all the time)--but people who only know you by your blog and Tweets? You don't want them to get the idea that you're negative. I whine to my dearest friends, and they are really patient with me!

Thomasina said...

I'm a very passionate girl, so when something bothers me it bothers me to the core. I try not to whine on my blog, but it happens. Usually I'll confide in my bestie, but if it's something really pressing I'll share it with my blog friends.

Taylor said...

I really, really try to refrain from being whiney on the blog, but sometime it seeps out...I save it for real life! And I even annoy myself at times. Good post :)

Jemi Fraser said...

I try to whine only for short times in private places! Doesn't always work, but I try :)

LTM said...

ooo, I do neither. I just let it eat a little hole inside me... LOL!!! Just kidding--as you know. I'll let you have it if you email me on the right day, yes? :D

but never on the blog. It's not fair to the poor visitors who don't know any better~ ((hugs)) <3

Wanton Redhead Writing said...

I despise whiners, glad someone else doesn't get all warm and fuzzy about it and suggest a therapist. Shut up and get on with it, that's my motto.

Glad to find ya.

Rosalind Adam said...

A little whine now and then gets it off your chest and if that's done on the blog then I hope my followers are tolerant enough to put up with it. A whine with a touch of humour thrown in is the best way. It lightens the load.

Her highness, Samantha VĂ©rant said...

I keep the whining to my friends. I think venting in public can come back to haunt you. Big time.