Monday, March 15, 2010

writings on the wall

The path was familiar, limbs had fallen off the trees making the direction less clear, fog had swept over the entire area making it very difficult to know where one was, however I had been here, it was a place I had been before and was supposed to be. It was quiet, almost defeatning which made the place all the more eerie, I reminded myself I could not be hurt, he'd hurt me once but he couldn't hurt me further. I knew I needed to be here and that's when I felt it, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, he was here, he was very close. As I continued to walk along the beaten path I started to hear him, his light footsteps and his heavy breathing. I was scared though I tried to remain calm, this was important, if he ever was going to be caught I needed to concentrate and find out where he was. I continued to walk, I could see lights ahead, it seemed we weren't far from a town and that's when I spotted him, only a few feet away from me. I knew the chances of saving the innocent victim were out of my reach but if I could find a name of the town he was about to enter Hunter could help me. As we walked I thought I saw a sign and instead of following him I knew I needed to have some sort of sign to go off, I ran to it, it was lit up so I didn't have to travel far, Lake City, I saw it, the words I desperately longed for, a place I could tell Hunter where he was at, I was sad because I knew the place and knew quite a few people in the town, I just hoped that the detective would be able to notify someone quickly enough to get out here, this man shouldn't go unnoticed but with everything as quiet as it is each evening that's asking a lot. I closes my eyes... Hunter... In seconds I stand by the river where I see Hunter laying underneath the stars, he's no longer startled by my presence, which is nice considering this could be happening more and more I look him in the eyes "Lake Citys, he's in Lake City" his stands to his feet and filled with determination he runs to the house. I hope something can be done.

15 comments:

tywo said...

You write so beautifully, it seems real!

You are going to be a famous writer someday. You are interesting.

Julie Dao said...

I like how you throw us right into the story and create suspense at the beginning. Very nice!

Christine Danek said...

Great job! I really like this. I want more:)

Carolyn V. said...

Excellent job Jen! When do we get more? =)

Kimberly Franklin said...

Very nice, Jen! I loved this piece... so much so I think I'm going to read it again and again and again! ; )


Happy Monday!!!

Jen said...

Oh my gosh you guys I'm loving the feedback! This is my baby... my new wonderful WIP: Finding Me. I'm so glad you enjoy it, there will be more for Teaser Tuesday not to worry Carolyn!!!

Nicole Ducleroir said...

I love the dream-like quality to your writing in this piece. I sensed dual worlds or planes of existence -- my favorite kinds of settings! Looking forward to Tuesday!

On a side note, you aren't going to believe this, Jen. When I was getting my list together this morning for the 100+ Significant Followers Give-Away, I realized your pic/profile is nowhere in my followers grid (??). Your seven entries were still included in the drawing -- thanks again for promoting the contest on your side bar in such a prominent place!! But I don't know what happened, somehow you aren't a follower :(

Thought you'd want to know! Have a great day, sweetie!

((hugs)) Nicole

Southern Princess said...

I enjoyed the suspense and am immediately curious as to what else is about to happen.

Great entry!


Visit My Kingdom Anytime

Kittie Howard said...

I love suspense and really, really liked how you pulled me so quickly into the story. Eager to read more. Write on, Jen! You've got a winner here!

Ashley Stone said...

love it, can't wait to read more

Thomasina said...

I can't wait to read more! Your writing is very real and it keeps me wanting more. Nice work!

Lisa and Laura said...

This definitely has a dreamlike quality. So mysterious. I definitely want to know more!

Mary Aalgaard said...

I feel like, mmm, the chase is on!

Judy Croome said...

I agree with the previous readers who said that your work has a dreamlike quality; there's an otherworldliness to your voice which is very attractive.

Tahereh said...

wow this was beautiful. great work and best of luck with your writing endeavors!!