Thursday, September 15, 2011

Strange Conversations at Home

Conversations in our house are strange. Which is why my husband is awesome. Today I figured I’d give you a sneak peek into Jenville (I know, you’re excited).
Me: Would you catch stars with me?

Hubs: Why the hell would I want to catch stars?

Me: Lucky dust. *gives the ‘duh’ stare*

Hubs: How lucky?

Me: I can’t guarantee it will win us the lottery. (Answering the question he didn’t ask, but wanted too).

Hubs: Then no.

Me: Why not? You’re not doing anything else.

Hubs: I’m going to make dinner.

Me: *remains silent* Hmm, okay, you win.

Who knew conversations like that led to my husband making dinner! WRITERS EVERYWHERE, feel free to try it out on your spouse… it just might WORK!

A few days later…

Me: What if we actually turned into our cats?

Hubs: Two nights ago you were worried about our cats plotting to kill us. Now you’re thinking about being them so we want to kill ourselves?

Me: I never thought about it like that. If we were still ourselves though, in fur, we wouldn’t have to worry about it. (PS – Seriously you’ll think your cat has a plot to kill you after reading THIS).

Hubs: If you’re still you there’s no way in hell you’ll eat the cat food. We’d be screwed.

Me: You’re saying you’d eat it?

Hubs: I’d at least try it. If I’m a cat it wouldn’t be so bad I’d think.

Me: What would happen to our cats if they were still cats in human bodies?

Hubs: Why the hell do we have to do this now? The games on.

Me: I’m just worried they’d spend all day sleeping and my back would hurt even worse the next day. Or worse, they’d get stuck in a weird cat like position I couldn’t get out of when I change back.

Hubs: *watches game*

Silence enters the room. Both cats awake and staring at me (again, probably plotting to kill me).

Me: Well at least one thing is for sure. I DO NOT WANT TO BE MY CAT FOR A DAY. Sounds like too much work.

Hubs: This conversation is too much work.

Silence fills the room, AGAIN. I walk to the refrigerator, grab a carton of ice cream – and a spoon. Cats stare at me… I walk to cupboard pull out kitty treats, disperse appropriately… okay maybe I give them to many. After this conversation I don’t want to die. I value my life. And my husbands – even if tires of my conversations.

39 comments:

Anna Banks said...

LOL! Your hubby's a good sport! I try to bring up things like that and he's all, "You, with the mouth. Shut it."

So I write instead. :)

Sarah Pearson said...

I'm so glad we're not the only couple who has weird conversations :-)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think the "watches game" part says it all.

Slamdunk said...

He is a good sport--good to hear that imagination is alive and well there.

Jessica Bell said...

LOLOLOL! Oh dear ...

Carrie said...

Love the cat conversation. I'm pretty sure one of my cats is plotting to kill me but the other one would be lost without me.

jenniferpickrell said...

Sounds like me and my hubby, only the convos never lead to him making dinner...I feel let-down now.

Juliette Sobanet said...

This is hilarious. I have two huge cats and my husband and I like to imagine all of the sarcastic comments they would make if they could talk. So funny:)

Jess said...

You are the cutest person in the world :)

Tiffany Garner said...

Lol this is great! I can definitely relate to having weird conversations... ;p

Kathryn Elliott said...

Great, now I'm afraid of the cat on top of everything else. My therapist earns her keep. Keep us laughing Jen, life is short!

Ed said...

First time visitor.

Love the blog. Me and the Missus have convos like this all the time.

Miranda Hardy said...

Too funny! Love your conversations.

Carolyn V said...

Hee hee hee. That is too funny. But now I'm scared of cats.

Carolyn Abiad said...

Haha! I'd feed the kitties too. They were probably paying attention to the whole conversation. :D

Ruth Josse said...

In our house it's my hubby who likes the what if questions. Maybe he should be the writer!

Laura Marcella said...

Phew, good thing I don't have a cat! My only pet is my husband, heehee!

Ann said...

Very insightful conversations. I would keep an eye on the cats. I think they are plotting too!

E.R. King said...

LOL! You two are hilarious!
I know my cat is plotting to kill my husband, but I'm not so sure about me...

Em-Musing said...

Oh,now THIS is eerie! I'm reading this...look down at the floor...and my cat is STARING at me! Now I know why! Funny post.

Matthew MacNish said...

You should get him to watch Stardust. That movie is awesome.

Kelley said...

Writers are crazy, almost all of them, in the best way :)

J. A. Bennett said...

This is brilliant! Love. the end.

Johanna Garth said...

Hah! I love these kinds of conversations. My husband told me that he, "Never, under no circumstances," wants to dissect whether or not having a tail would be a good thing again. The good news is my kids LOVE these kinds of conversations so that's what we talk about at dinner. They'll even do the tail vs wings analysis with me!

Carrie Butler said...

Hah! This post was too fun. :)

Nicole Zoltack said...

LOL You have to have more post like this!

Kristina Fugate said...

Oh, I'm so glad I'm not to only one who has weird conversations with my significant other!! Lol! This post is hilarious, by the way! As Nicole said, you have to post more of these conversations!

Oh, and I passed the Versatile Blogger award on to you! If you want to pick it up, info is here: http://kaykays-corner.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-versatile.html

Alison Miller said...

You are so funny! I bet there's not many dull moments over at your house. :)

And thanks for your super sweet comment on my blog. That completely made my day.

Julie said...

I just laughed so loud I'm pretty sure my neighbors heard me. Hilarious!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Have I ever told you that you are TOTALLY ADORABLE?!! :-)

Anita said...

THAT was simply awesome!!!

elizabethreinhardt said...

I am definitely stealing your star-catching conversation prompt and hope my husband will also agree to make dinner for me! Why are men so scared of whimsy?!

Emmy Blue said...

I missed you Jen! Your blog ALWAYS puts a smile on my face and warm fuzzies in my heart...(not to mention cupcakes in my mind!!)

Lindsay N. Currie said...

Ha, I think we all have some strange conversations inside of our walls LOL! But, you take the prize for most unique concern regarding morphing into your pets :)

Jennie Bailey said...

I can't click that link because I'm paranoid enough about my cats as is. I love your conversations! Nothing will ever get my husband to make dinner, though. Probably a good thing. His dinners would be fattening and have no nutritional value.

Ashley Stone said...

cute! ; ) Me and my hubby love to narrate our animals.

Angela Brown said...

LOL!!!
Hahahahahaha!
Hehehehehehe!
*side splitting from laughter*
Okay, now I'm taking a deep breath and admit that your conversations are quite interesting :-)

Shaik said...

Hi LOL, such as great post shared you, i have to say these translations are absolutely fabulous.. So excited for you.


Sample Cover Letters

Sher A. Hart said...

I thought I was going to have to go to bed tonight without laughing aloud once. Now my stomach hurts from laughing, and I will sleep fine... because I'm not the one home with the cats. I'm visiting family, hubby is camping with Boy Scouts (& cooking them fry bread)so only my 19-year-old son is in any danger. But Furball, no longer Fireball, is too lazy to do anything except meow anyone to death.