Internal Conflict Blogfest

Here we go baby!!! May 12th is the day!!! Lets do it! Thanks to the Alliterative Allomorph for throwing this super fun blogfest!!

Here goes nothing!

He told me love was sweet, it was like a flower, you had to allow it time to blossom. I bought all that shit. He seemed so adorable and kind, you know the kind of man every woman waits to find. Everyone woman hopes that man loves her as much as she loves him, though we all know that the woman always loves more. I thought I had found him, that he was the one.

We had become inseparable, married after a year of courting. He was handsome, wonderful, my one and only. We loved one another for six years, I woke up each morning looking at him and remind myself how lucky I was to have him, how lucky I was that he loved me. Until he stopped.

I sit here now thinking about it, allowing my insides to be torn out. He ripped them out and stomped on them, every girl has experienced it, in fact I’m the one to which my friends always come to, they always tell me how lucky I am how wonderful of a man I have. Shouldn’t it have been the other way around? Shouldn’t he have been so lucky to have me? I guess I wasn’t enough.

I’m sorry. I guess you just weren’t the right one. I guess I picked to early. that’s what he said to me, like I was still that fucking flower he so desperately wanted me to be. Picked me to early, what a joke, what a stupid metaphor. Why the hell had I fallen for it? What made him so god damn special? I guess I just wasn’t enough flower for him.

Annabelle was. Oh yes sweet, adorable, thin, blonde Annabelle, she was so his type. She laughed at all his ridiculous jokes, touched his chest when she laughed, she paid attention to him he said. We just fell in love, it wasn’t like I was looking for it. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I see the signs? I always told my girlfriends what to look out for, what to avoid, instead I’m the one sitting on the couch with a glass of wine all alone. I’m the one who invested 6 fucking years to a man who just fell in love with someone much younger than him. You see that shit in the movies you never think it’s going to happen to you, until it does.

I should have never come home. I should have worked late like I said I was going to, something stopped me. I decided that I wanted to have a date night with my husband, I mean what was so wrong with that? I even ran by the lingerie store and even picked up something nice to share with him, make his night worth while. I walked in the house, lights were off but I saw candles on the dining room table, two plates set out, it was beautiful. I was so excited I actually was stupid enough to think that he had done it for me! It wasn’t until I heard the moaning in OUR bedroom that I realized that stupid bastard had skipped the main course and went for the trampy dessert.

How was I so stupid? I was so shocked I just stared when I reached the room. I didn’t even say a word, I was so pissed that the words couldn’t even come out, instead I stood there. The stupid tramp looked at me as if she hadn’t known… I knew she had, I visited the office often enough, she was his fucking assistant for Christ sake! He looked at me in shock you weren’t supposed to be home yet he said, umm duh! I was figuring that out myself. I can’t believe that made it alright. He explained quickly what I had already seen and then left, not another word.

Grabbing the bottle of wine I just continue to relive the awful experience in my head, letting it play like a video, what a fool was I. I could just imagine that they were laughing after they left, God what an idiot is she, didn’t even know we were fooling around. How long had it been going on? How long had they fooled me? One bottle wouldn’t be enough, I was looking at two or three bottle’s of wine to make this pain go away. I wanted to puke, how could he have done this to me? How stupid was I not to notice, I mean even Franklin my orange tabby cat new, he looked at me with those cute sad eyes, rubbing against my leg telling me to cheer up, I hoped he was calling his “dad” and asshole. Oh I was taking the cat alright, I was taking the house, the car, the stocks, it was all mine, that stupid prick. I hoped him an Annabelle have fun together after he is broke.

First things first I better change the locks. Guess love isn’t so sweet is it.

**Well there is my entry! I was able rewrite an additional 4K words last night!!! I can feel the fire**