Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Internal Conflict Blogfest

Here we go baby!!! May 12th is the day!!! Lets do it! Thanks to the Alliterative Allomorph for throwing this super fun blogfest!!

Here goes nothing!

He told me love was sweet, it was like a flower, you had to allow it time to blossom. I bought all that shit. He seemed so adorable and kind, you know the kind of man every woman waits to find. Everyone woman hopes that man loves her as much as she loves him, though we all know that the woman always loves more. I thought I had found him, that he was the one.

We had become inseparable, married after a year of courting. He was handsome, wonderful, my one and only. We loved one another for six years, I woke up each morning looking at him and remind myself how lucky I was to have him, how lucky I was that he loved me. Until he stopped.

I sit here now thinking about it, allowing my insides to be torn out. He ripped them out and stomped on them, every girl has experienced it, in fact I’m the one to which my friends always come to, they always tell me how lucky I am how wonderful of a man I have. Shouldn’t it have been the other way around? Shouldn’t he have been so lucky to have me? I guess I wasn’t enough.

I’m sorry. I guess you just weren’t the right one. I guess I picked to early. that’s what he said to me, like I was still that fucking flower he so desperately wanted me to be. Picked me to early, what a joke, what a stupid metaphor. Why the hell had I fallen for it? What made him so god damn special? I guess I just wasn’t enough flower for him.

Annabelle was. Oh yes sweet, adorable, thin, blonde Annabelle, she was so his type. She laughed at all his ridiculous jokes, touched his chest when she laughed, she paid attention to him he said. We just fell in love, it wasn’t like I was looking for it. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I see the signs? I always told my girlfriends what to look out for, what to avoid, instead I’m the one sitting on the couch with a glass of wine all alone. I’m the one who invested 6 fucking years to a man who just fell in love with someone much younger than him. You see that shit in the movies you never think it’s going to happen to you, until it does.

I should have never come home. I should have worked late like I said I was going to, something stopped me. I decided that I wanted to have a date night with my husband, I mean what was so wrong with that? I even ran by the lingerie store and even picked up something nice to share with him, make his night worth while. I walked in the house, lights were off but I saw candles on the dining room table, two plates set out, it was beautiful. I was so excited I actually was stupid enough to think that he had done it for me! It wasn’t until I heard the moaning in OUR bedroom that I realized that stupid bastard had skipped the main course and went for the trampy dessert.

How was I so stupid? I was so shocked I just stared when I reached the room. I didn’t even say a word, I was so pissed that the words couldn’t even come out, instead I stood there. The stupid tramp looked at me as if she hadn’t known… I knew she had, I visited the office often enough, she was his fucking assistant for Christ sake! He looked at me in shock you weren’t supposed to be home yet he said, umm duh! I was figuring that out myself. I can’t believe that made it alright. He explained quickly what I had already seen and then left, not another word.

Grabbing the bottle of wine I just continue to relive the awful experience in my head, letting it play like a video, what a fool was I. I could just imagine that they were laughing after they left, God what an idiot is she, didn’t even know we were fooling around. How long had it been going on? How long had they fooled me? One bottle wouldn’t be enough, I was looking at two or three bottle’s of wine to make this pain go away. I wanted to puke, how could he have done this to me? How stupid was I not to notice, I mean even Franklin my orange tabby cat new, he looked at me with those cute sad eyes, rubbing against my leg telling me to cheer up, I hoped he was calling his “dad” and asshole. Oh I was taking the cat alright, I was taking the house, the car, the stocks, it was all mine, that stupid prick. I hoped him an Annabelle have fun together after he is broke.

First things first I better change the locks. Guess love isn’t so sweet is it.

**Well there is my entry! I was able rewrite an additional 4K words last night!!! I can feel the fire**

34 comments:

Clara said...

O-M-G, Jen are you serious, this entry kicked ass!!! LOVED IT! It was raw and it was a-w-e-s-o-m-e!
Super major freaking great job my friend.

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

You sound very American Bridget Jones, darling! :) A very cool, casual account of a broken heart, and when the anger that kicks in afterwards!

Christina Lee said...

Good raw emotion here. I loved the cat reference and this: "I guess I picked to early. that’s what he said to me, like I was still that fucking flower he so desperately wanted me to be." Good stuff!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Oh my Riesling! What a shocker.

Best line IMO:
"that stupid bastard had skipped the main course and went for the trampy dessert"

lol. Brilliant!

DL Hammons said...

YIKES! My first reaction a sudden compulsion to put on the hard plastic cup I used to wear when I was a catcher!!

This is the third Internal Conflict Blogfest entry that involved men as the root cause. I'm thinking that maybe I should lie low today!!! :)

BTW...it was VERY good!

Susan Fields said...

Wow, Jen - fantastic! Great emotion here, and so honest. This guy sounds like such a creep, I'm mad just thinking about it!

I haven't entered TJ's contest this week. I'm trying to get through the wip one more time before the weekend and it's taking all my time. But now you've laid down the gauntlet, I'll see if I can get my butt in gear! I'm looking forward to seeing your entry (I think :))

Theresa Milstein said...

This woman is going through what every married woman fears. At some point will I be cast aside like tube television in favor of a flatscreen?

The contrast between your first and second lines was awesome. And I loved the line, "I sit here now thinking about it, allowing my insides to be torn out."

Jen said...

Clara - Thank you so much!!! I had no idea I had a knack for writing awful things about men! Maybe I can write about love, lol

Jessica - Wow thank you! I'm taking that as a huge compliment!

Christina - I'm glad you enjoyed it! Sometimes foul language is necessary! This was one of those times!

Karen - Thank you!!! You are too sweet!

DL - Don't worry this was written last week, not to mention I don't hate any men. In fact I'm happily married and my husband has never done anything like this! LOL Sending love!

Susan - Glad you enjoyed it! Haha don't be scared you'll love it! I hope you have time! I consider you my arch nemisis!

Theresa - I would hate to think we are all tube televisions! LOL

TerryLynnJohnson said...

oh, you smashed it Jen. Very reaslistic and griping. Well done.

Matthew Rush said...

Am I wrong to find this a little funny? This is obviously sad and wrong but I love her attitude and snarkiness. I mean she's obviously hurt but she goes right to thinking about what action to take.

Righteous!

Jaydee Morgan said...

The emotion here is great - and I love the fact that although she is hurt, she hasn't totally fallen apart but rather, her spunk shows through. Great job!

Crystal Cook said...

Wow Jen! Great job :) So raw, and real.

j.leigh.bailey said...

Jen--That was great. I absolutely loved this line "skipped the main course and went for the trampy dessert." I really liked how the seemed to get faster and faster as it went.

Creepy Query Girl said...

Oooooh 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned':) Great excerpt!

Candyland said...

LOVED IT! I think most of us have known a dude like this. Grr..

Jen said...

TerryLynn - Thank you!

Matthew - I love your take on it! I'm glad you still enjoyed it, regardless of how you felt! I am glad you enjoyed the snarkiness!

Jaydee - Thanks! I didn't want her falling completely apart by a man! We can't have that!

Crystal - Thanks that means a lot!

j.leigh.bailey - Thank you so much for the sweet words! I was impressed with myself on that line, LOL

Creepy Query Girl - Well said!

Candyland - SO TRUE!!!

Tessa Conte said...

Great stuff!

Talli Roland said...

Love the rawness in this, Jen. It just pours off the page! Great job!

Shelley Sly said...

This is awesome, Jen! Love the flower metaphor and love the voice in the story. You expressed the shock and heartache perfectly! Well done!

Carolyn V. said...

Woo hoo! This is awesome! (Way to go on the 4k!=)

Tory said...

Hi, Jen! This is my first visit to your blog, and for a moment, I thought I'd picked one hell of a day. This is so believable, I actually thought you were venting/writing about yourself. LOL! So glad it's not real!

Convincible...definitely! Good luck on the contest. Tory

Kimberly Franklin said...

Nice entry!! And you go girl!! You must be on fire! If you don't mind, could you please send some of your fire my way? Haha. :)

sarahjayne smythe said...

Excellent entry for the blogfest. I loved this a lot. :)

Tara said...

Ha! Good for her - take it all, I say!

Loved this.

VR Barkowski said...

Superb! Excellent conflict and I loved the progression from loss and sadness to anger to revenge. The emotion is raw and palpable. And taking the cat? That's cold, really cold.

Amalia T. said...

I especially like the part where she talks about how everyone always told her how lucky she was, and shouldn't it have been the other way around? That thought has a lot of power to it-- a lot of kick. Nicely done!

Amy Saia said...

Very, very good. Wow. I'm very impressed and wish you the best of luck!

Lydia Kang said...

Ouch! I felt her pain, reading this! Awesome entry!

Jemi Fraser said...

Intense! I hope he gets what's coming to him and she gets some revenge along the way!

Donna Hole said...

Nothing like a blogfest to inspire creativity Jen.

I loved the cyclic thinking here. Going from disbelief, to shame, a little denial, back again, and finally onward to anger and a plan.

No, one bottle is definitely not enough.

Awesome entry.

.......dhole

Shannon said...

Hey Jen,

Love love loved it. Sorry it took me so long to comment. Great job. :)

Tina Lynn said...

I felt it when she walked into the bedroom. Ouch. Nicely done. "Guess love isn’t so sweet is it." Loved her voice. It was perfect.

Bridge Marie said...

Nice, Jen! I really liked the flower reference, it catches her resentment and frustration really well.

Kierah Jane Reilly said...

loved it! hope she thinks of juicy ways to get back at him!