Friday, October 22, 2010

Do THEY regret that YOU remember?

Announcement - Do you see my sidebar follower count??? Yes it says 900!!! Oh my gosh. I'm blushing! Get ready for a HUGE... EPIC... CRAZY BIG contest in the works!

Okay, now I'm back!

Mean Girls (or boys/guys or vampires) suck.

They etch a place in your brain... a place where you'll always remember them. (Muahahaha)

You grew up with them. (for the record, I've never come across a Vampire, but no judgement if you have)

You fought them. (Unless you were converted, yes that was a vampire joke. I never claimed to be a joke teller)

Maybe you even WERE them. (Shame on You)

They are always in our stories. (Told you I'd remember you)

Your main character isn't allowed to pass GO until they've encountered with one of them.

Villians. Monsters. Queen Bee's. Vampires. (Not Edward)

How did you label the bully in your middle grade/high school years? Who were you in high school? Jock, Pretty Girl, Queen Bee? Do you use someone you remember as a guide for your stories?

Guess if they knew, they'd regret how they treated you. (Fat chance, they probably think they're popular. losers.)

For the record... I was nor the bullied or the bullier, I was the one who sat from the sidelines, quietly tucked away with a book that I pretended to read... stalking at an early age.

69 comments:

Amy Saia said...

My bully was Fred Smith. He was a lot like the alleyway bullies in The Christmas Story. "Say Uncle! Say Uncle!"
In my writing, I have either made them monsterish, like no feelings and no hope for kindness, or I make them very likable and show a transformation in the book. I love transformations, like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol (why am I stuck on Christmas today???)

Liz Fichera said...

I had plenty of "Mean Girls" at my school. Let's just say karma is a beautiful thing.

salarsenッ said...

I'm bowing to Liz's comment. So right, girl! I was a late bloomer, so junior high was...yeah, rough. I was the tall, lanky girl with not butt and, well, no other attributes other than my thick glasses and braces. Lovely. LOL

Candyland said...

Yeah the writer in me says "they'll be sorry when I put them in my story" but honestly I never associated with meanies. I always had friends and tried not to make enemies.

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

I never went through the bullying thing, but there was a really big girl who wanted to beat me up in 6th grade because I was "with" her boyfriend. (I think "with" meant he walked with me to classes).

I was such a hussy.

Susan Fields said...

I think I was invisible enough in high school to fly right under Mean Girl Radar, because I don't remember any problems with them. Guess I should count my lucky stars. :)

The Golden Eagle said...

I try not to base my characters on real people. Some might share characteristics, but they're not completely the same. :P Unless they're people I really know well.

Mary said...

I remember them, alright. Revenge is sweeter on paper because you can repeat it.

aspiring_x said...

i wasn't really bullied (despite being a loner nerd!)... because my big brother scared the crap out of everyone. but i witnessed and stopped (yeah i was that girl) a lot of bullying in school.

still though,mean people suck! and i have incorporated attributes from bullies i have seen... but more so- sadistic people i have known that were darker and deeper than the bullies.

still though, the petty person in me did have a lot of fun using a mean lady i worked with as the framework for one of the main villains in my WIP.
mwhahahaha!!!
:)

Joanna St. James said...

I was like the very creepy kid that always had beer so everyone had to be nice to me. Am not saying i had beer i was just well connected but not cool

Hannah Kincade said...

I had a bully for most of my school life but he went crazy so karma? I don't put him into any of my stories or do I? Now I must look at my villains again.

Anita said...

I was bullied in junior high and high school. It was hard to deal with till I finally stood up for myself. I'll never forget the feeling of satisfaction that came with that.

Shannon said...

I once read that you only dream about people who you've seen at some point in your life, even if for a brief moment on the subway. The mind cannot create a face it has never seen.

I think that's true with our characters, as well. They are an accumulation of all that we have seen and experienced. So, yes, I extract villainous qualities from the cruelty I have seen and experienced. But, the same can be said about the love, forgiveness and grace I have experienced.

Quinn said...

My villains are my favorite characters to come up with, so I would never waste one by basing him/her off someone who made my life hell.

I was ... I don't know what my role was in HS. I clique jumped. I was a loner I guess -- friends with everyone, but not great friends with anyone.

Georgina Dollface said...

Most of my bullies, if you could call them that, were situational, meaning I wasn't bullied at school or amongst people I knew,but if I went outside of my social circle or community on my own, I often felt judged by others. (Such is life when you stand out from the crowd a bit.) I was neither the popular one nor the social pariah. I got along with everyone, but wasn't necessarily the first person the "cool kids" thought about inviting to their drunken house parties.
I'm just so glad those silly days are far behind me. - G

Melissa Gill said...

I find myself giving my big baddies the names of bullies in school. (Not full names, but Russ and Stephanie seem to show up in a lot of unpleasant situations

beth said...

I was bullied. Sure, I brought it on myself w/ the green lipstick around my eyes and the multi colored hair but really was it so necessary? And maybe not ppl but the things they said definitely come up in my ms!

gabi said...

Thank you for this post. It came at just the right time.

Kimberly Franklin said...

I didn't have a school bully, nor was I the bullier. I most likely just wandered around oblivious to all the bullying taking place around me, because I don't remember others being bullied either. LOL. Man, high school, if I could go back there for just a day! :)

Summer said...

There weren't any mean girls or bullies in my school. Part of it, I think, was that 90% of the school (pop, 950) had been together since kindergarten.

I was one of the popular kids, even thought I came in at 9th grade, but I was also in the honors classes, drama club, art club, science club, Student Council, National Honor Society, Beta Club, and Youth Leadership Council, among others. No kid wore just one hat. The popular kids were popular mostly because they were friendly and spoke to everyone. Our head cheerleader was also Student Council president, an honors thespian, class president, and a super nice girl (who was 4'9).

Because of my high school experience, I have a hard time buying into such stereotypical portrayals of high school in fiction. I know that it's out there and a lot of people go through it, but it's not something I myself can relate to.

The only time a kid ever tried to bully me was 1st grade. I punched the bastard in the face, and that ended that really quickly.

Joanne said...

I managed to get through those school years without any bully encounters, minding my own business and not stirring up any either.

Moonwillow said...

I saw my bully at my 20 year reunion two years ago. The first thing she said to me was "you look exactly the same". Revenge is sweet because I can't say the same about her. She didn't age very well.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I managed to slide under the radar as a band geek.

Anne said...

I was the kid that came and left or never showed up at all. :)

Jessica Hill said...

I definitely encountered my fair share of bullies in my middle grade years. I was always the awkward, quiet girl that never quite fit in. I haven't really used any bullies from my past as a guide in any of my stories. Yet. Muahahahaa.

:)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

In junior high, I was the one who got picked on. Fortunately it wasn't a problem by the time I got to high school. Unfortunately I was so shy by then (thanks bullies) that teens actually thought I was stuck up (I found this out later).

Turns out, a lot of people I didn't know had noticed me. One cute guy (not in my grade) apparently had a crush on me. I didn't even know he existed. Geez, someone could have told me all these things sooner. Thanks bullies for all the things you did to me. Hope karma bit you in the butt in the end. ;)

KarenG said...

Being a writer is the best job ever. Ah sweet revenge.

Ashley Stone said...

I hate mean girls!! I had one named Deanna in middle school. She hated me. She was in charge of my costume for Romeo and Juliet and put me in this horrible pink taffeta looking dress.... she did it on purpose!!!! haha!

Erica M. Chapman said...

We had our share of "Mean Girls," but I wasn't one of them, nor did I really talk to them. I was in show choir, student listening, softball... so I was right down the middle ;o)

Great post! Have a great weekend ;o)

Summer Ross said...

I was bullied in junior high- I had lockers slammed on my fingers, my books knocked out of my hands several times, staples spit at me, loogies hocked on me walking home from school, and one time they even thought it was great to push me down the stairs. Then I fought back one time in ninth grade, and then highschool no one messed with me...I had a few close friends, but was neither bullied or bullier. I usually stood up for the bullied. LOL

Kristin Rae said...

Thankfully, my high school was so small, we didn't really group ourselves... I wouldn't say we were all friends friends with each other, but for the most part, we all got along. If someone was arguing, it was usually one person against another for a specific reason, but I'm sure they got over it eventually. I was very fortunate to have the experience I did.

roxy said...

I was a kind of invisible book worm and musician in High School. Luckily, I flew under the bully radar for the most part.

Meredith said...

Ha, I was so you in high school. Sitting on the sidelines, reading a book :)

Elena Solodow said...

I was the four-eyed introvert, also stuck in a book.

P.S. posted a vlog post, answering the question you asked.

Tere Kirkland said...

I was the dork in junior high who turned into a rebel once I hit 16.

It was like BAM! I stopped caring what the "popular" kids thought, and like flies to honey, I was suddenly... well, not popular, exactly, but not treated like the great big old dork I used to be.

I definitely use the conflicting feelings I experienced during that time in my writing, even if I don't recycle those people who were mean to me.

Excellent post!

Colene Murphy said...

I got picked on(bullied I guess)before high school. After high school I some how turned into a click-shifter(able to move from group to group accepted). Still lost on how that happened. but whatever!

Jenn Wilks said...

I was very rarely bullied. I'd say I was more . . . invisible. Which was bad, too, but not as bad as being pushed, shoved, called names, etc. I mostly read books and stayed out of the mean kids' way.

Oh, and look again - that little number is now 902! :-D

Ashley Sisk said...

I've recently had this discussion with my mom when we were discussing my 10 year reunion. I have no intention of going. My best friends in HS want nothing to do with me now (we're just different people now), and the only person I desperately want to see wants nothing to do with her HS life. Anyways....I wonder how long these things continue...and you're 903. I'm following back (although I didn't see you in my follower count). Come back and visit! :)

Talli Roland said...

900! Go girl go!

Ah yes, mean girls. I went to a very preppy school where conformity was key. Ugh...

Robert Guthrie said...

Because of being bullied I switched schools and reinvented myself. From gay outcast to varsity guy with girlfriends. Strange, but helped me understand two distinct worlds.

E. Elle said...

There were so many who made fun of me, stabbed me in the back, trashed me to others. If I named them all, it'd make me just as pathetic as they were/are.

They definitely show up in my writing, though. Most of my main characters are underdogs, pariahs, and outcasts. I can relate to it and I know what it was like to feel like I had no voice. So I hope to give voice to those who feel the same way.

I was the artsy weirdo / dateless wonder. Very little has changed. Haha.

Jodi Henry said...

Bullies suck. I was the target for many spit wads in my high school days - well through my junior year. For years I wishes I could just be invisible and then I changed states and schools.

What a differance that was.

I was the new girl from Cali in a small Michigan high school and everyone was interested. I thought for sure popularity would be better than nothing, and yet I still wanted to be left alone.

The people that made my life hell do not show up in my novels, mainly because they don't deserve to be immortalized that way or in any way.

Thanks for the post.

J

LTM said...

omg! I was the elem-middle school stalker hiding behind the book, too! :D

and oh, YES, I've used smash-ups of lots of people to create bad characters. Even good characters! But I think ... that's how you do it, right? :D

Lenny Lee! said...

hi miss jen! i didnt ever get bullied. but im doing a book that got some of it in it cause of stuff on the news last year when a mg kid killed himself cause of being bullied so much. i saw it happened again more times and it got me wanting to write a mg book.
i hope you have a really fun weekend.
...hugs from lenny

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Ahh bullies. I had the usual playground teasing, but never anything really bad. My friends have always been very protective. lol.

Clarissa Draper said...

I was like you, neither the bully nor the bullied I did a lot of watching instead.


Thank you for you kind words on my blog.

CD

Elana Johnson said...

LOL! Stalking at an early age. That is too funny. I was the one who tried to be part of every group. I'd have like 4 parties to go to every weekend, and I usually went to all of them for a few hours each.

I was a band geek, but also hung with people on the football team. And people who did neither of those things. And yeah. I wasn't super popular, I just had a large social circle.

Yeah, let's go with that.

Jai Joshi said...

We called the mean girls at our school the b*tch brigade.

I wasn't one of the bullies. I'd have slit my wrists before I put anyone through what I was put through at various points in my school career. But I wasn't always bullied either. I was one of those who had lots of friends in different groups and went from group to group, finding some joy everywhere.

Jai

Jai Joshi said...

Oh yes, and MASSIVE congratulations on reaching 900 followers! Thats incredible, girlie! Well done!

Jai

Dianne K. Salerni said...

A very good question, Jen!
Especially since, sometimes, their children show up in my classroom. :)

Do they wonder if I remember they were mean to me in middle school?

Do they even remember being mean?

Did they even know their behavior was mean at the time?

Of course, I have my own relationship with their children (teacher/student) which is separate from whatever relationship I had with them -- and the adult who shows up for parent conferences bears little resemblance to the middle school version I remember. So, there's no chance I would *ever* take an old frustration out on their children.

But I do wonder how they remember me ...

Congrats on the 900 followers!

Melissa said...

HOLY CROW WOMAN! You are a blogging machine! Congratulations!!! I'm so proud of you.

In highschool... I was very popular. I was friends with everyone and a part of the biggest group in school. And, I was lonely as all get go. I had to constantly be aware of what I was doing/saying, I had to do a lot of things I'm not proud of, and I also, was quite cruel to any one who tried to get in my way. I hate to think that I hurt people. But, I'm nice now :)

Caroline said...

I love telling lies :) I mean stories as well!!! Thanks for stopping by Coeur de La as now I have found this blog of yours!! <3!!! xo

JEFritz said...

In my books, I don't put characters based on those bullies. They aren't interesting enough :P

Melissa said...

The kids at my high school were mostly nice. I remember a few instances of bullying, but I was always on the sidelines.

L.T. Elliot said...

I was a nose-in-a-book-wallflower-nerd. There were a few bullies but I don't really care now. Don't want to hang out with them or anything but just don't really care. ;)

Danielle said...

Great post- I kinda just stuck to my own group of friends. We weren't popular but we weren't unpopular either. I was more bullied in elementary school...since I hit puberty before everyone else. Most "villians" I encountered in high school were preverted guys. Congrats on 900 followers!

Nicole Zoltack said...

I was bulled in grade school. High school was fine. College I had to deal with mean girls. For the most part, I kept to myself, was fairly quiet. That is, until you get to know me. Then I don't shut up, lol

And 900? How cool is that! Can't wait to hear the contest deets.

DLCurran said...

I was on the bullied side but I think I tend to draw on my emotions of that time rather than specific people from my past. Besides, I tend to cut the negative out pretty ruthlessly... after elementary and high school, walking away and becoming a bit of clown seemed to be my path. I'm hoping that doesn't say too much about my maturity level, though! lol

The Words Crafter said...

I loved school until middle school. Then it sucked big time. High school was mostly better....

I tend to roll all the bullies and such into one character then give that person whatever suits the story....and they evoke all the emotions I used to feel....

Interesting post and congrats on the 900+!!!

The Words Crafter said...

I loved school until middle school. Then it sucked big time. High school was mostly better....

I tend to roll all the bullies and such into one character then give that person whatever suits the story....and they evoke all the emotions I used to feel....

Interesting post and congrats on the 900+!!!

Donea Lee said...

Congrats on the 900!! Woo hoo - that's awesome! I'm up to...2. A good healthy 2, but there it is. (I don't see you on there, btw - ahem, ahem! But, no pressure :))

I always thought I was the quiet, shy, under-the-radar, girl in school. But, somehow, I managed to get myself in trouble on occassion. I did a project with a group in Jr. High - we had to sell a "product", do the marketing, ads, what-not. For some strange reason, we picked Ouija boards. Several weeks later (and no offense to either of these groups) a rumor started going around that I was a devil-worshipping lesbian!! Better yet? My own cousin started it!

Yeah - can't say highschool was all fluffy bunnies and candy kisses. We had a plethora of "mean girls". And, sadly, ours was simply a rift between "the haves" and "the have nots". Money picked popularity at my school. Kind of sad. Kids can be cruel, especially girls. One of my fabulously talented friends (but, technically a "have not" at the time) told me much later in life that the "mean girls" in jr. high tormented her so much that she had to get therapy. Crazy! I could go on and on, I think. But, I'll stop. Maybe I'll write a book about it one day... :)

lettucehead said...

It's hard to say what group I categorized in. I always had those friends who weren't really your friends, if you know what I mean. Then I always had one close friend every new year. I'd say I was a loner because no know really knew me, and when they did they always disappeared. (That sounds a little creepy....)

Emily said...

I was the girl who was friends with everyone!
The popular crowd, the geeky, arty, bookworms, emo(or goth as it used to be called!), sporty etc...I hate bullies. I think a few boy's would try and pick on me, but I always had a comeback that would make them never want to try that crap again! ha ha

Great blog! :D

Jemi Fraser said...

I actually don't remember a bully. There was always teasing and bugging, but no real bullying. Thankfully.

Or else, I was just oblivious... which is extremely possible!

T.Knowley said...

Interesting question, Although I was teased a lot in elementary school by the time I got into middle school I was neither a bully or the bullied, I got along with people from all the little groups and really didn't belong to any certain clicks.

As for what I called my elementary school bullies, little a**holes was a fitting term that my brother came up with. ;)

Abby Minard said...

I had a bully in elementary school. And some just mean kids- not one particular bully, but you know how kids step on the bandwagon. But here's the thing..in elementary school they say it to your face. In Junior high, sometimes its to your face and sometimes its behind your back..sometimes both at the same time. In high school, it's behind your back. Which is better? Luckily I didn't really have any problems in junior high and high school. I was the "sweet" girl that everyone liked- even the popular people- but not enough to be realy close to those people. But I did have my own group of girlfriends and we had a blast together!

Emy Shin (Sandy) said...

Congratulations on 900+ followers! You're wonderfully awesome. <3

I was the same at you; wasn't the bullier (wasn't popular enough) but wasn't ever bullied, either. I was much too caught up in myself and in my books to pay much attention to high school cliques. It was lonely, but ultimately wasn't that bad of a thing. :)

Em-Musing said...

Half of my junior high school class were hoods. I learned to be invisible around them.They took pleasure in jumping kids for no reason. Unfortunately for me, I had a crush on a cute hoodie guy, and he me. When his ex-girlfriend learned I had his ring, she cornered me in the bathroom and gave me an ultimatum - his ring or a razor across my face, I tossed the ring and he never looked at me again. Sigh! But I have no scars :)

Madeleine said...

Ooh I was bullied from taunts like 'flat head' to 'brown eyes the colour of muck' to 'four eyes' and 'bony was a warrior'. I had a pair of dividers stuck in my leg from one girl. I just felt hugely sorry for them and for myself LOL!
However, I decided to immortalise my very first bully in a story by changing her name but keeping the rhythm of it for the rhyme I used to say about her to make myself feel better, which now goes 'Hilary Garner the fat banana'