Friday, December 30, 2011

Lets Pretend This Never Happened

Two days away from the big year made me want to end this year with a BANG.

April 17, 2012 is going to be a big day.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson will make it's debut in the world.

If you don't buy a copy of this novel you're insane. Or maybe you're insane to buy this novel. Either way insanity will happen so buy the AWESOME.

If the name Jenny Lawson doesn't sound familiar but The Bloggess should (and if it doesn't, I suggest you move your ass right over there... she's brilliantly insane <-- that's the biggest compliment, trust me).

Enough gushing. Here's the scoop...

For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris-Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut.

When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father (a professional taxidermist who created dead-animal hand puppets) and a childhood of wearing winter shoes made out of used bread sacks. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it.

Lawson's long-suffering husband and sweet daughter are the perfect comedic foils to her absurdities, and help her to uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments-the ones we want to pretend never happened-are the very same moments that make us the people we are today.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened is a poignantly disturbing, yet darkly hysterical tome for every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud. Like laughing at a funeral, this book is both irreverent and impossible to hold back once you get started.

AUTHOR BIOS: Known for her sardonic wit and her hysterically skewed outlook on life, Jenny Lawson has made millions of people question their own sanity, as they found themselves admitting that they, too, often wondered why Jesus wasn't classified as a zombie, or laughed to the point of bladder failure when she accidentally forgot that she mailed herself a cobra. Her blog ( is award-winning, extremely popular, and she is considered to be one of the funniest writers of our generation by at least three or four people.

TOLD YOU. TOTAL ROCKSTAR. Now you know her... you're welcome.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I NEED HELP... not the clinical kind, yet

Hermione Granger.

You know... she's that muggle who just so happens to have some of the coolest wizard talents known to mankind?

You're right, obviously not to mankind... after the Wizarding World is a fluke to some, but we know that in the Wizarding World she's an all out rockstar.

You also know she's won two brackets in the YA Tournament of Heroines.

I'd like today to be no different.

This one will be a little tougher. After all, we're going against Tris from Divergent, and I know a ton of you enjoyed that novel (I sure did), but I'm hoping that Hermione is still your all time favorite girl and it'll garner a vote our way.


Today that's the kind of help I need. Tomorrow it might be clinical... but for today I'm counting on your vote to bring Hermione to the final four. I know it won't be easy, but I'd like to at least show her we give a damn.

Reasons to vote for her? Sure... I'll pass them along.

Loyal: She can get you out of a quick bind. If you some bullies bother you, she knows the spells (without speaking) to use to get them to shut up.

Girl: She has the biggest handbag known to the entire world. That girl makes spells look as easy as chewing gum. Oh, you want chewing gum? Just have her put it in her put it in her ever expanding handbag. (I wonder if it also has a weightless charm to it).

Family: She saves her family by making them forget they ever had a daughter. This was the saddest part but also the most powerful me. She's the ultimate sweetheart.

Access: Chocolate frogs, bertie bots every flavor beans, and pygmy puffs. This girl has the absolute best access to all things Harry Potter. She could hook you up in a second... who knows, now that Viktor Krum is single, maybe she'll even introduce you.

There you have it. Your superstar ready to move to the next level... if you so allow.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Is standing out the key?

The other day I sat at my computer contemplating what to start next.

Here are my stats:

I've written six novels. Some young adult, some adult.

I've queried two.

One was too unique of an idea. In agreement I decided to step back and write another.

The other I queried for awhile, received a few requests, but overall the query didn't cut it. Agents weren't biting. I felt defeated.

Then, while staring at my computer, I changed my tactics. I went different, unique, quirky even. I decided to be myself. I rewrote my query.

It paid off. I gave myself the guts to take a chance. I emailed my query to an agent whom I adore and they asked for a full within the hour. It was thrilling. My quirkiness had paid off. I didn't ask anyone to look at it, I realized by doing so I was questioning the work I knew was good.

Now, I will note, it was later rejected but the euphoria that came with me being myself made it worth while. The agent also rejected it, not for my content, but due to the age of what she normally represented. The agent gave me hope, and without her even knowing, she gave me the courage to be myself.

Where do you gain courage? How do you pick yourself up when you've fallen? I want to hear your story!

Friday, December 23, 2011

A Christmas Story by ME

Google and I wish you a very Merry Christmas (I'm only mentioning google because this is where I got the photo).

Are you traveling? Staying in? What are your plans this fabulous holiday season?

Mine? Gosh, you're so sweet... thank you for asking.

I'll be sitting with the in-laws sipping my mother-in-laws amazing Vodka Slush and watching the snow fall (oh lord I hope it snows!!!).

And since you asked... why not a holiday story! Jen style of course. Every year I'm asked what I want for Christmas and each year I run empty, so two years ago I decided to be ridiculous (is there any other me? No...)

Hubs: What do you want for Christmas?
Me: A pony.
Hubs: *blank stare* (probably waiting for the real answer... which isn't coming).
Me: Still want a pony, or polly pockets - the old school version.
Hubs: I'm not buying you polly pockets.
Me: Guess it's a pony then.

Few days later

Sister(s): What do you want for Christmas?
Me: A pony.
Sister(s): Anything more... realistic?
Me: Ponies are real
Sister(s): *silence*
Hubs: Where would you put it?
Me: Outside, duh. There is so much grass at the apartment complex. It could be their mascot.
Hubs: Apartments don't have mascots.
Me: Maybe they should.

Naturally,I expected a pony. Can't people just put their money together? If you've seen 2 Broke Girls they have a horse in the city. It's not impossible.

There was no big box. I didn't panic, what person would put a poor helpless animal in a box... not to mention, do they make boxes that big?? Wrappable boxes that is. No, my gift was outside. I would wait... the anticipation, my excitement, it'd be worth it.

There I was, everyone had opened their gifts and were passing the remaining one's my way. I looked at the beautifully wrapped boxes reminding myself to open quickly so we could go outside.

Guess what happened?

I got ponies alright. My little ponies... five of them.

Next time I'll specify real.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

YA Tournament of Heroines - Round Two

Update: Hermione won!!! We're up again December 28th... this one will be TOUGH! Get your wands ready!

We're up again! VOTE 4 HERMIONE HERE!

This round Hermione is against Emerson from Hourglass.

This one is going to be tough.

I'm hoping each and everyone of you can help out! Vote, tweet, facebook, or blog. I'm going to need quite a few votes. The author of Hourglass, the lovely Myra McEntire gave away the first ending last round.

She's ruthless... (probably not true), but her fabulousness is kind of awesome. I can't blame those for voting for Em... after all, I've read the novel and it's FAB.

But we're not here for Emerson. I'm hoping each and everyone of you will help Hermione make it one step closer to the finale!

Any who, that's enough of my blabbing. I've wrote over at YA Sisterhood why I think Hermione should pull a win in all her awesome. Check it out and share with others!

Monday, December 19, 2011

For the love of Chocolate...

I’ve come across an amazing blogger and author, please welcome the fabulous Juliette Sobanet (fabulous name, is it not?)… She blogs over at Chocolate for Writers (I know, what’s not to love), and her novel Sleeping with Paris was released this fall! You’ll want to snag a fabulous copy!

Of course I asked her some super fun questions! Aren't you curious as to what they are??? Here.We.Go.

1. What makes you unique?

I danced for most of my life taking ballet, tap, jazz and modern dance, and since I'm not currently taking any dance classes, I get these extreme urges to bust a move. So, be it in the car with my husband or at home on a boring weeknight, you may find me doing wild, interpretive dance moves to whatever song happens to be playing. Sometimes I can convince my husband to join the party, but usually he just thinks I'm crazy. Lucky for him, I don't this in front of anyone else. Well, maybe it's not so lucky for him . . .

2. What do you have handy at your bedside?

The most important thing would be earplugs. I have a 20 lb. and a 14 lb. cat who both love to start meowing at the bedroom door and swinging from the doorknob (the smaller one actually does this!) around 4am every morning. Earplugs are essential. I also usually have two or three good books for before-bed reading, but I'm usually so tired I can only get through a page or two at the most before passing out.

3. Do you like your handwriting?

I do. I actually love my handwriting. I've kept a journal since I was really little, and one of the things I've always loved most about journaling is seeing my handwriting on the page. My husband always makes me write things because he loves it too:) Plus his is a little messy . . .

4. Do you think Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Definitely. For most people, tea doesn't cut it. I also think they take breaks to drink other types of tea, because with all the tasty tea options out there, why would they drink just plain old Lipton? Well, probably because it's free, but still.

5. Where else would your characters sleep besides Paris?

They would sleep in a few other select towns in France: My personal favorite being Lyon, a beautiful city about two hours south of Paris by train. And they would also sleep in a gorgeous town in the French Alps called Annecy. Maybe in a future book they'll be sleeping at the French Riviera or in a chateau in the Loire Valley. And of course, they will always be sleeping next to their sexy French lover;)

Five one-word randoms

1. Winter or Summer in Paris: Summer definitely. But I do love the decorations on the Champs Élysées at Christmas time. So beautiful.

2. Croissant or Cinnamon Roll: Tough one. I'll have to go with a croissant. Can I fill it with chocolate though?

3. Neon or Pastel: Pastel. After we painted our condo (I chose the colors), my husband's friend told me our place looks like an Easter egg. So Pastel it is.

4. Do you cook or bake: Cook. I would love to bake more, but who has the time? Plus I have to save room for the croissants.

5. Bear or Mountain Lion: I'll have to go with mountain lion. I have two miniature mountain lions on either side of my computer right now staring me down. Looks like the lions are hungry.

Have questions you want to ask Juliette? How about other authors? What interesting questions do you have up your sleeves??

Friday, December 16, 2011

Reader Twists

Happy Friday! I've decided that even though I'm not blogging on Tuesday's that won't take me away from some fabulous reads! Instead of sharing the first line I've switched it up!

I've asked several readers and authors to partake in this funky idea. They've given me their favorite lines in novels and I'll have you decide if it's something you'd read!!! You can also weigh in on who you think wrote it and the title!!!

Most of all it's a way to get more readers into more novels (as if our TBR list isn't BIG enough).

Here's Talli Roland's favorite lines!

The year began with lunch. --> I LOVE this for its simplicity. (Title Here)

A man from the town of Negua, on the coast of Columbia, could climb into the sky. (Title Here)

On the coach, Lev chose a seat near the back and he sat huddled against the window, staring out at the land he was leaving: at the fields of sunflowers scorched by the dry wind, at the pig farms, at the quarries and the rivers and at the wild garlic growing green at the edge of the road. (Title Here)

Here's Jolene's favorite lines!

"My Mother is totally nuts." (Title Here)

"She may dress like a girl, but her romantic sensibilities are on par with most men I know - Jaron, excluded here, of course." (Title Here)

"I understand how easy it would be to lose yourself in the heart of another. It‘s frightening. Exhilarating. An ocean with no lifeguard." (Title Here)

What would you read? Any you're dying to jump over and read more about it?!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Who's on the Naughty List...

Today I have the fabulous author Liberty Blake stopping. She has a fun short story out with Still Moments Publishing on Christmas Treats #1 - The Naughty List... (intrigued, aren't we)!

Let's not waste time... let's get to know this spicy girl!

1. Favorite holiday drink? Mulled cider
2. How do you eat your Christmas cookies? slowly
3. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator or a small room? (Depends on who I’m with, but) Small room
4. How many drinks does it take for you to get drunk? blush
5. Favorite spot to watch the snow fall? The woods of New England

Five One-Word Randoms

1. Egg Nog or Hot Cocoa: Hot Cocoa
2. Peppermint or Fruity Candy Canes: Fruity Candy Canes
3. Slippers or fuzzy warm socks: Fuzzy warm socks
4. Heat on OR heated blanket: Hot man
5. Hotel or Motel: Depends (On who I’m with. ;~}} )

Special treat: Here's the scoop on her delectable short story!

Christmas Treats #1

Santa’s Naughty List
Christmas Spirit

Genre: Contemporary Heat


Cross a Christmas phobic male with a caterer with Christmas bells on...can she ignite the Christmas spirit in him?


What the hell had just happened? One minute he was in heaven tasting the sweet nectar of the gods. The next the little vixen was running down the subway stairs. Harry pulled his wits together and gave chase. The turnstile wouldn’t budge. He was about to jump it when a voice said, “I wouldn’t if I was you. It’s a serious crime to steal from the Commonwealth. Buy a pass if you want to ride the train.”

Harry turned to find a T officer standing directly behind him. The man pointed a nightstick toward a row of machines. “You can get one over there in the Charlie machines.”

Card in hand, he was back at the turnstile in time to see the train Elle had jumped on pulling away from the station.

Damn. He didn’t know her last name.

Liberty Blake's Whereabouts!

She's a little bit nice and a little bit naughty, isn't she? Stop in and say hello to her! Or stop and order her book over at Still Moments Publishing and give yourself a treat this Christmas!

Monday, December 12, 2011

In which I objectify men... or just Ryan Gosling

For those of you who follow me on twitter (I won’t apologize for random dating advice – which I have no reason to give, seeing as I’m married and the dating game has probably change). Any who, you know I started this thing called #chicklitchat. If you didn’t notice, I suspect your still nodding your head to avoid looking like the one and only idiot in the back of the class (only to later google #chicklitchat to see what you missed).

What do we talk about?

Men. Ridiculously hot sexy, men. Sorry Erik… Alex… Matt… (and any other male that stops in whom I’ve failed to mention). Then again, who says we’re not actually ogling over them and just using code names (that’s right, you’ll never know).

This post is not about my twitterites or my blog buds, this is about…

Ryan Gosling and his all too perfect pectoral muscles. It’s not right. I need to put an end to this madness. My poor husband. My poor male readers (Erik…Alex…Matt…Other men).

Stop looking at me like that... *blushes*... stop it.

I figured in the form of a letter was most appropriate.


Crazy.Stupid.Love has turned into a Crazy.Stupid.Infatuation. Emma Stone wasn’t joking in reference to your photo shopped six pack. I don’t believe it. I can’t believe that someone so freaking hot isn’t in my presence right this very minute. Haven’t you ever heard of the Make A Wish Foundation? Yeah, well, I’m not on it… but if I could be, your name would be at the top of my list.

You think of no one else do you?

We watch you saunter in the bar with your ridiculously high priced clothing and all you do is taunt us with your sweet and over confident attitude. Not cool, Ryan. Not cool. And what’s with your ability to make us forget everything we were talking about the minute your face appears on the big screen. We’re woman. We have thoughts, feelings, and emotions. *stares at Ryan Gosling’s body… his lips move but my eyes are still on that glistening six pack*

Wait a minute? How the hell did you manage to break a sweat in the twenty seconds it took you to get undressed? Don’t tell me you use a spray bottle to keep those core muscles appearing tighter than they really are.

That’s disrespectful.

And hot.

Keep up the good work.


Friday, December 9, 2011

Twists with YA Sisterhood

Today I've invited YA Sisterhood to stop in! They have a kickass blog where there are tournaments with hot boys, and your favorite heroines. If you're not a part of this awesomeness now is the time to hop over. The YA Tournament of Heroines is going on and you'll want to get your votes in! These ladies are fabulous.

I've even asked them to partake in the usual Tuesday Twist! Obvs, it's Friday, but nonetheless I know you all enjoy it, why not get some readers involved! So let's interview them in our super weird and quirky way!

1. What made you start your blog? Why the tournaments?

We always sort of thought of ourselves as the resident book fairies. No matter where we lived, we were constantly giving people book recommendations, in college, at church, the students we taught, moms at grocery stores or teenagers in the YA section of our local bookstores. Finally one day we decided to compile all of our recommendations into one place and as they say, the rest is history.

In reference to the tournaments, we are a family full of coaches and sports fans. Our father was a coach before he retired, our uncles are coaches, and the rest of the family, husbands, cousins, and grandparents are all hardcore sports fanatics. Last year, during March Madness, we were casually joking around, how the only way this would be interesting for us is if it were a tournament of book characters pitting it out against each other (preferably our fictional crushes!) And, from there, our Crush Tourney and now our Tournament of Heroines was born!

2. What heroine would you have over for a sleepover? Why?

Luna, definitely Luna from the Harry Potter Series. Things are always bound to be interesting with Luna around-- from nargles to thestrals-- we will never be bored! Then maybe just maybe, after our sleepover, she'll paint our faces on her ceiling!

3. If you were to share your seat at lunch with your favorite hero who would it be?

Harry Potter for conversation & Jace for ogling!

4. What character are you most relateable to? Male or female....

(Amy) I would have to say Emerson from Myra McEntire's Hourglass. Not that I am an amazingly, beautiful blonde that can time travel, but more for her personality. Her internal monologue and her constant ability to nickname everyone or everything, mirrors my own. Several times while reading Hourglass, I was literally yelling out loud, "I would so say that!" Plus, I just love the name Emerson!

(Brittany) For me, I'd say either Mara Dyer or Hermione. Hermione because I've always been a know it all (ask my sister, she had to live with me). I identify with Mara because we have the exact same sarcastic, mildly violent sense of humor. Seriously, reading that book felt like reading my diary (if I wrote a diary, that is).

(Amy) BTW- so true! What 3rd grader would actually know the difference between affect & effect then have the gall to correct her high school age sister when using them improperly!

5. Three of your favorite one liners.
"It has a shiny buckle with PRADA on it, which is Italian for insecure." -Andy from... Find out here!
"I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting." -Jace from... Who is this hottie??
"One little joke involving hemorrhagic fever and they brand you 'unstable'" Jamie from this crazy awesome book!

Do you know what book these quotes are from? Guess in the comments!

Five one-word randoms

Hero or Heroine (readers POV): Hero
Vampire World or Wizarding World: Wizarding World of course!
Save the world WITH powers or WITHOUT: WITH
Peanut Butter and Jelly or Ham and Cheese: Ham and Cheese
Prep School or Public School: Public School

Visit YA Sisterhood. You won't regret it. They are awesome.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Writing Changes Lives

Happy Wednesday! I love reading stories about those who started out in an impressive profession and moved to writing. Taking a huge change and watching it pay off. Today I have a very special story. Isabelle Lafleche is the author of J'adore New York and her courage and ambition is one that leaves me breathless.

This fabulous author once worked 14 hour days hoping for a corner office. Through her success she still felt empty and it wasn't until one day a psychic stopped her and told her she was an artist and she was missing her calling as successful writer.

Author Note: WHAT? Can I have her Pyschic?

Now of course it was months down the road before she took note... but, look at where she's at now. A published author who filled the void she'd always wanted filled.

These are stories that inspire. This is the exact reason I'm a writer and I love showcasing such amazing people on my blog. People like this are worth the space. She's incredible and you'd be wise to buy her book!

The cover is magical isn't it??? Head over to Goodreads, check out the blurb, and then head over to Amazon and buy this beauty!

You want more fun? You should! Here is her fabulous trailer! Also, if you want to hear the full story of how she became a writer check out her story!

What's your writing story?  Do you have an author that inspires you because of their story?

Monday, December 5, 2011

YA Tournment: Hermione vs. Claire


Today is the day. TOURNAMENT OF HEROINES where Hermione battles Claire from the Morganville Vampire series for the next 24 hours. I'm FREAKING out *eats her weight in cupcakes*.

Yeah. I'm that terrified.

I've never had so much pressure to impress.


Hermione Granger needs your vote!! Why? Because we're voting in the Tournament of Heroines and she's top notch!

What do I need from you?

Grab your wands. Apparate to YA Sisterhoood. Click the Vote Hermione button!

You want to help some more? *blushes* You guys really are the greatest bunch!!!

Blogging would be amazing! I know, most of you plan ahead, but just in case you don't a blog post would be great. Let your people know the awesomeness that's going down! Here's the link for voting --> YA Sisterhood!

TWEET YOUR HEARTS OUT. Now there are logistics. Please! Please, provide a link for them to have the opportunity to vote! (Here's the link again -->

For some extra fun make these 140 characters ROCK! Want some help with that writer creativity? Here are some examples:

You haven't voted yet? *throws pygmy puff* Now, go wrong your right! Vote #TeamHermione #HeroineTourney --> (ADD LINK)

It's raining pygmy puffs! Let's pull a win for our girl Hermione! Vote --> (ADD LINK)

AGAIN don't forget the link! Also if you add #HeroineTourney @YaSisterhood OR @jenunedited I'll be retweeting like a crazy wizard!
What are you waiting for?

Why haven't you left yet?

For Wizard Sakes GO!

WAIT! Don't forget to grab your chocolate frogs and a pygmy puff before you head on out. That is my gift to you! :D Thank you for your soon-to-be-votes! (PS - You'll get to read my advocate post over at YA Sisterhood so be sure to see the awesome I wrote. Yes, I'm that full of myself).

Friday, December 2, 2011

Three Days A Week

I've decided to take the plunge. That's right, I'm following the blogging brick road and jumping down to a mere three days a week. You love substance, heck, so do I. That's what I plan on giving you. In blogging Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I hope to keep the blogging ideas fresh and more time to visit all of you!

I'm sure I'll have slip ups, and with the YA Heroine Tournament the days are most likely going to be screwed up this month. Alas, that's where the focus will be. Having fun in the blogging world and reminding myself why I joined in the first place.

So, is there anything special you'd like to see on Unedited? Favorite posts? More funnies? Just share in the comments and I'll make sure notes are taken!